Tag: identity

Letting Go & Embracing Gratitude

On By Christy VinesIn Life2 Comments

Last night around 1 am as I was on my way to bed, much too late, I had what you could call a moment of clarity. You could call it a light bulb turning on, but really it was the culmination of months and years of prayer. If you’ve read any of my blogs, you know I struggle with fear and anxiety. It’s a lifelong battle of my emotions in conflict with what I know to be truth. However as I went about my usual routine, taking my supplements & drinking water I was struck with a sudden realization…an overwhelming sense of gratitude that dispelled all fear.

I realized that if I woke in the morning and life was turned on its head I could remain in a state of gratitude because I do not deserve the life I have today. It is not mine to cling to. God alone is to whom I must cleave as if my very life depends on it, because it does. In this single moment I felt release from the bondage of fear in a way I’ve never experienced as the true source of my anxiety was revealed.

If I went to sleep and didn’t wake up, I would know I lived my life to the fullest. I’m so grateful for the live I have and the life I have lived. I truly wouldn’t change a thing. Each and every moment has occurred only because God has allowed it all to be. He has redeemed each decision that I selfishly made for His greater good. His righteousness has covered me like a shield. I’ve taken risks and endured great hardship, but He never let me go. He has made much of each downfall & brought purpose from pain. All of the things I grasp so tightly are not mine but by His hand alone have I been so blessed. In this moment I embraced the truth deep in my soul that I have risked much & watched Him graciously bestow blessing beyond measure. I would’ve missed out on the greatest treasures of life had I always played it safe & lived a life of self protection.

And we desire each one of you to show the same earnestness to have the full assurance of hope until the end, so that you may not be sluggish, but imitators of those who through faith and patience inherit the promises.

Hebrews 6:11-12 ESV

You see, so often my prayers convey my will. My desires. I pray in a way that says Lord you are my King but in my heart my greatest desire is a self-satisfying security. Basically God, what are you going to do for me? Praying in a way that seeks to convince Him that my prayers are within His will, so He must grant them, right? This posture of heart attacks the reality of God being enough. These are the chains preventing me from living freely as they are so intricately woven around what God meant for blessing.

So let me speak more directly and specifically. I hope you can apply this in the area you are experiencing the most fear, even if the situation is different. Maybe for you it is work or health related, financial, your dreams or aspirations. I’m going to do my best to explain the truths that moved from my head to my heart relating to this struggle, but its difficult to put into words. My family is the most important thing in this life. My husband and children are constantly revealed as idols when I allow myself to be completely honest. Times where I feel vulnerable and worry it typically has to do with the safety and security of these precious people making up #vinespartyofsix. My anxiety stems from this misplaced trust as I mistakenly believe my life cannot go on without them.

Here’s what I’m not saying. I’m not saying my husband & children shouldn’t be at the top of the list. I’m not saying my love for them is wrong. I’m not saying that if something happened to them I would go on as if nothing happened. I would be wrecked. But I am saying if their priority ranking is above God, everything becomes skewed. During recent world events we’ve spent tons of time together at home. In the evenings we watch movies & have almost finished Star Wars in chronological order. One of the quotes in the movie grabbed my attention & almost brought me to tears. Weird I know.

Yoda: “Rejoice for those around us who transform into the Force. Mourn them, do not. Miss them, do not. Attachment leads to jealousy, the shadow of greed, that is.”

Anakin: “What must I do, Master Yoda?”

Yoda: “Train yourself to let go of everything you fear to lose.”

Read that again. Attachment leads to jealousy, the shadow of greed….train yourself to let go of everything you fear to lose. Ouch. What a revealing statement highlighting the problem with my fears. When I make the false assumption that my husband and my children are mine I assume ownership in a way that negates my first identity. I am a child of God. He is my loving Father. I trust Him. My family members are blessings He has bestowed for me to steward well…not to grasp onto in fear. The greed that arises forgets they are His children too.

I realized that without God’s grace, none of my children would be here. More poignantly the boys existence is a miracle. Chaney & I almost divorced in 2014 but instead God had other plans. Without His redemptive healing our marriage wouldn’t exist. Our family unit being intact today is a miracle. The last several years have been grueling. If I sit in fear of losing what isn’t mine in the first place, I am living in delusion. True reality is found in a perspective embracing each day as a gift, not as something expected or owed. Sometimes it takes extreme circumstances to chip away and reveal truth at our core. What I can control is my level of surrender & obedience to play the role God assigns, that’s it. Nothing is mine that wasn’t His to begin with. If I truly believe He is good, just and loving then regardless of what happens in this world, my life can continue. This world is only temporary. We all have an invitation to an eternal home. So I pray He can continue training me to let go of what I fear to lose. In this paradoxical lesson I believe I will live & experience a much fuller life this side of heaven.

And now, just as you accepted Christ Jesus as your Lord, you must continue to follow him. Let your roots grow down into him, and let your lives be built on him. Then your faith will grow strong in the truth you were taught, and you will overflow with thankfulness.

Colossians 2:6-7 NLT

I guess last night was a lesson in learning to let go of everything I fear to lose and re-framing my perspective in the truth that those dearest to me aren’t mine anyway. I will risk it all to be a godly wife and mother. I will risk it all to live out His plan for my life & continue putting my experience into words hoping it can help another. I will continue to pray that no matter what heartache life holds I can live audaciously for His glory. I pray He will shower us all with His favor so we may endure all situations with His prevailing strength. I pray we may face life courageously #onedayatatime. I pray we never lose sight of His abounding grace and hope.

Exercising Her Wings

On By Christy VinesIn Uncategorized1 Comment

Okay so I’m attempting to post what I’ve already written without getting paralyzed by frustration in formatting. I have several writings with hyperlinks to other documents that include research on word studies and various scripture references, research on butterflies, etc. At some point I hope to have all the kinks worked out, but at the request of a friend I’m going to post the majority of what I’ve already written and go back later to add supporting documents. Like I stated in my “About”, I am a nerd, so a lot of the research may be boring to anyone who reads this, but it is super exciting and thought provoking for me. For now, I will add scripture references at the end of the page.

Writing #2-

This idea and process of being transformed is one not to be taken lightly. It requires intentional effort and the awareness and submission to Christ. The Holy Spirit is our advocate making a way to escape the darkness of our enemies. We face deceit at every turn, not only by the father of lies or prince of darkness, (what we call him does not matter as much as the understanding of his total opposition and contrast to our God, The Father of Light) but also from the world (culture, society) and our flesh. Our lives are lived in a physical climate covered in the depravity of sin. Our hope however is in Christ and with His death and resurrection the snare of sin is released. The veil is lifted and we have a chance in the battle for transformation. In Him we have won and are free to bathe in the glory of His light. Our physical circumstance or location doesn’t change, but our reality does. It changes because He is faithful and will not leave us in despair. Why are there so many of us who proclaim to know the Living God yet walk around lost, trapped and seemingly unaware? We must be attentive to His word and Spirit so we are not lead astray.

There are many ways to simply “change” the appearance of something, but there is only one who completely changes, alters, transforms, and fundamentally re-creates our identity from the inside out! Christ does this and we are transferred into the kingdom of light. Nothing can change our standing as his adoptive sons and daughters. Just as a butterfly emerges from her chrysalis and will never again be confined to the ground crawling, consumed by cravings for leaves as she did as a caterpillar, so we too never again need to be trapped by the lusts of our flesh. A butterfly doesn’t need understand by what exact scientific process of metamorphosis she changed and developed wings before deciding to fly. She doesn’t act like a caterpillar. She relishes in her new identity and flutters her glorious, brilliantly colored wings in the sun; flying free above the ground she was once confined. No one tells her she is still a caterpillar and if they did she wouldn’t listen. It is in her nature to be different, and so she is. How gracious of Elohim, our Creator God to gift us with so many examples of His creative glory.

It is often so much simpler to see ideas and concepts illustrated through nature. Animals exist by survival instincts and respond to their instinctual motivations without persuasion. A bird does not act like a frog, or a turtle as a fish. This would never occur as they just do what they were created for- LIVE. As they live they bring glory to God, just as the trees blowing in the wind and the flowers blooming in the spring all shout of the magnificent splendor of our King! All of creation worships God naturally, except for us. Out of all God created he chose one to bear his image, man. Sin entered this world through us, and as a result of the fall, we are all naturally bent toward sin. Once we receive salvation, the Holy Spirit is granted as the deposit on our soul, and we must rely on His power to fly freely or we will remain trapped by our former lusts.

“When the butterfly emerges from its chrysalis, its wings are small and wet, and the butterfly cannot yet fly. The butterfly must pump fluids from its abdomen through the veins in its wings, which causes the wings to expand to their full size. Next, the wings must dry and the butterfly must exercise flight muscles before it can fly.”

Christ transforms our identity, but we must continually and constantly remain in his love being transformed to His image. We must know Him. The following fact is most likely not new to most, but the moral is one that is too good to pass up.

“Federal agents don’t learn to spot counterfeit money by studying the counterfeits. They study genuine bills until they master the look of the real thing. Then when they see the bogus money they recognize it.” This quote is from John MacArthur’s Reckless Faith, but I’ve heard it referenced many times, and it holds so much truth to focusing on Truth instead of trying to “avoid” lies.

Rather than focus on all we shouldn’t do or all the evil in the world, we focus on Christ and His Word. He is the way, the truth, and the life, no one comes to the Father except through Him. That is certainty. From the truth that is Christ, His Word, and the Holy Spirit residing in us, we have power and light to recognize darkness. This is so vital because there is another who transforms, one who masquerades as an angel of light, one who deceives and entices. There are false apostles who themselves are deceived and if we do not know truth, we can easily be led astray.

How ridiculous would it be to see a beautiful butterfly kicking it big with the caterpillars? If you can fly why remain confined? This is the sad truth and reality of many not continuing to be transformed from glory to glory. Yet, this confinement is exactly what will happen to us if we do not grow strengthening and exercising our spiritual wings in the strength of the Holy Spirit through submission to God’s will.

Relating Scriptures

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Holy Spirit is our Advocate-

1 John 2:1 (ESV)

My little children, I am writing these things to you so that you may not sin. But if anyone does sin, we have an advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous.

John 14:26 (NET)

But the Advocate, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you everything, and will cause you to remember everything I said to you.

Father of Lies–

John 8:44 (ESV)

You are of your father the devil, and your will is to do your father’s desires. He was a murderer from the beginning, and has nothing to do with the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks out of his own character, for he is a liar and the father of lies.

Father of Light–

1 John 1:5 (ESV)

This is the message we have heard from him and proclaim to you, that God is light, and in him is no darkness at all.

James 1:17 (NIV84)

Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.

The Veil is lifted-

2 Corinthians 3:16-18 (ESV)

But when one turns to the Lord, the veil is removed. 17 Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. 18 And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another. For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit.

God is faithful-

1 Corinthians 10:13 (NIV84)

No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.

Kingdom of light–

Colossians 1:12 (NIV84)

Giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of the saints in the kingdom of light.

Rely on His Power-

Ephesians 6:10 (NIV84)

Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power.

The Way, the Truth, and the Life–

John 14:6 (ESV)

Jesus said to him, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.

Masquerading, angel of light–

2 Corinthians 11:13-15 (NIV84)

For such men are false apostles, deceitful workmen, masquerading as apostles of Christ. And no wonder, for Satan himself masquerades as an angel of light. It is not surprising, then, if his servants masquerade as servants of righteousness. Their end will be what their actions deserve.